Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Let's Get Real

It should come as no surprise that 2016 was a struggle for me. I really didn't post much, though I keep promising to post more frequently and provide better content. Between injuries slowing me down and work continuing to pile more and more stress on my shoulders, 2016 was a year of strain and worry and pain. Add in an oh so fun combination of depression and anxiety and it made for a pretty awful year.

I greatly neglected this blog for the past year, because I didn't really know what to say. I wanted to keep this blog strictly about running and not delve too much into my own personal issues, but those personal issues greatly impact my running. It is hard to get in a quality run when you barely have the energy to get up and get dressed.

I didn't want to write about the deep well of pain and sadness in which I found myself for large swaths of time. I didn't want to broadcast to the world that I felt too overwhelmed to get out of bed some days or that simply going to work used all the energy I had and I couldn't bring myself to do anything else but crawl back into bed when I got home. I kept making promises about new posts, new trainin plans, new race recaps...promises that I just couldn't keep when I was using so much energy to just function as a human most days.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life, but 2016 really hit me hard and then continued to pummel me. My main  hope for 2017 is that things will turn around, or at the very least that I'll be better able to manage things and ask for help when it is desperately needed. I'm feeling better, but I know I have more work to do. Every day presents unique challenges, and instead of trying to hide behind a mask of normalcy and pretending that everything is fine, I want to be more honest about what I am going through.

Buckle up, friends, it is going to be a bumpy ride.

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