Monday, March 28, 2016

Feeling Lost

I'm feeling stuck. In every way. And I'm struggling right now. A lot.

I'm struggling with negative feelings about pretty much everything - my job, my life, my body, my running. I'm just not happy right now. I feel as thought I'm just going through the motions.

Let's be real. All I want to do right now is curl up in bed with my cat and take a nap. In fact, my cat, Hannah, is the only thing that brings me any sense of joy right now. 

She is pretty much the best kitty ever.
Running has helped me work through similar feelings in the past, but I've just lost all motivation recently. I had planned to start training to PR at the Soldier Field 10 Mile, but I've only run maybe three times in the past two weeks and have completely stopped cross training. Yesterday's "long run" was only six miles, and every single mile was a struggle to finish.

I had hoped that the Shamrock Shuffle would kick my butt into gear and get me back on a regular training schedule (signing up for races has had the effect in the past), but even the thought of that impending race isn't helping motivate me.

I feel lost.

I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to find small moments of hope and joy. I'm trying to find even a modicum of motivation. It just isn't easy. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Making Decisions...or Maybe Not

I'm still here, folks.

I haven't posted in a while because I'm trying to figure out what is happening in my life right now.

I'm really not happy at one of my jobs, and I have the opportunity to leave that job for a different job. I don't know if it is the right move or not, because it would mean taking a pay cut, losing some benefits, and stepping into the unknown.

Change is scary, and I'm struggling with this decision a lot more than I thought I would.